Mr. Right tries to sanitize his bullying by telling me, “I have strong opinions” or “I like debating ideas.” This is like a bank robber saying, “I’m interested in financial issues.” Mr. Right isn’t interested in debating ideas; he wants to impose his own.
The central attitudes driving Mr. Right are:

• You should be in awe of my intelligence and should look up to me intellectually. I know better than you do, even about what’s good for you.
• Your opinions aren’t worth listening to carefully or taking seriously.
• The fact that you sometimes disagree with me shows how sloppy your thinking is.
• If you would just accept that I know what’s right, our relationship would go much better. Your own life would go better, too.
• When you disagree with me about something, no matter how respectfully or meekly, that’s mistreatment of me.
• If I put you down for long enough, some day you’ll see.