Activity

If someone is self-reflecting and self-regulating, what are the next steps?

I reteach communication (because at that point it’s probably got a bit mean) and negotiation, which allows a couple to see that in most situations, apart from ultimate deal-breakers (for example whether or not you want…

During our conversation, I was reminded of this quote by the poet Rainer Maria Rilke: ‘Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them w…

What do you wish you’d known about sex and desire?

The neuroscience of pleasure. The simple way to think about it is if you’re in a sexy state of mind and your partner tickles you, it could feel good and lead to other things. But if that same person tickles you when you’re pissed off at them, …

For some people, saying, ‘I don’t spontaneously want sex as much, shall we start scheduling it?’ can be difficult. You’re acknowledging a change in your relationship (even if, as you said before, that could be a positive one). Why can that conversation feel so loaded?

The idea of initiating a …

Taking the journey inwards had still been important, because when you don’t understand or value yourself it’s more difficult to generate love for other people. It made me see, too, that I had never really loved the men I’d dated and idealized in my twenties. I had not been invested in helping them …