Lara: I was trying to distract myself from L, but she was everywhere, her name shouted down the corridors of every film. She was the subtext that swelled to swallow the story, the footnote that spilled over many pages. I buried myself in films and recorded everything in my film binder. She showed up everywhere. An above average number of characters shared her name, or her face shape, or her walk. I tried to write to her, but didn't know what to say. There were many abandoned efforts filled with jokes, stories, and confessions. The ones I actually finished were more careful and restrained, like a soldier's letters home that had been redacted by his government. New school is fine. Not as good. Everything will be ok. Weather not bad. Write soon. They were so below par I couldn't send them.