AT BARASSINI’S, THE annoying, overbearingly concerned Tsai hovers and clucks on and on about my poor head. It’s unbearable. No, I don’t need an ice pack. No, I don’t need her to take me to the emergency room. No, I don’t need two aspirin. Or some tea. Or water. No, I like the cheese in my beard. Good God, woman, leave me be.