It would be impossible to pinpoint exactly which Steps made me feel less hopeless and which ones allowed me to like myself. But, by the time I was through all twelve, I was able to look at myself in the mirror without hating who was looking back. When I started doing service, that self-like turned to self-love and my ego made way for selflessness. I have found everything I ever wanted in CMA: friendship, purpose, connection, and the ability to love myself. Most important, I don't want to get high anymore. I just don't think I'd enjoy it. Not when I have so many other things to look forward to.