We go to a bar and at first I don’t know how I’m supposed to be. I’ve never really dated before. There were just bathrooms at house parties and then there was Joe. I tell him I’ve just come out of a five-year relationship and his lips tighten shut and he says, ‘Must have been a real captivating guy,’ and I realise that’s not something you say on a first date. So then I change the subject to a fall-out I had with my friend a few weeks ago over not responding to her WhatsApp messages and he says, ‘Does that happen a lot?’ and I realise you shouldn’t say stuff that’s so personal. But I get better at being who he wants me to be. When I say ‘path’ he makes me repeat it back to him because he says I sound Northern, so I tell him other things about where I’m from that make it sound more exotic. That people from home say ‘me sen’, meaning myself. When I can’t light my cigarette he takes it out of my hand and says, ‘Let me do it,’ with so much conviction that I let him do other things I can do because he must like doing them. Like Google Map us to a bar I know the way to or explain how mortgages work. When he says he plans to learn choreography for the first dance when he gets married, like you see on all those viral Facebook clips, I lie and say it’s cute. Avoid saying ‘that’s weird’ when he mentions that Ronaldo’s his favourite football player. Parts of me slip away. I don’t mind watching them leave.