Abusers externalize responsibility for their actions, believing that their partners make them behave in abusive ways. Each of my clients predictably uses some variation of the following lines:

“She knows how to push my buttons.”

“She wanted me to go off, and she knows how to make it happen.”

“She pushed me too far.”

“There’s only so much a man can take.”
“You expect me to just let her walk all over me. What would you do?”