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Irène gave me a dirty look. “I imagine your own life has always been perfect, and so that allows you to judge everybody else from a great height.”

I stiffened. “I have always tried to be honest. I wanted Philippe to be the same. I am sorry that you should have turned him from that course.”

Sh…

“I’m not ashamed at all. One has the right to reconsider one’s opinions.”

“Reconsider! Only six months ago and you were utterly condemning the regime’s entire cultural policy.”

“There you are, then! I’m going to try to change it.”

“Come, come, you aren’t of that caliber and you know it. Yo…

It was impossible. He shared our ideas. He had taken great risks during the Algerian war—that war which had torn our hearts and which now seems never to have taken place at all—he had got himself beaten up in anti-Gaullist demonstrations; he had voted as we voted during the last elections.…

“He …

Last year he used to take his pulse every ten minutes. It is true his blood pressure was a little high, but a course of treatment steadied it at seventeen, which is perfect for our age. He kept his fingers pressed against his cheek; his eyes were vacant; he was playing at being an old man, and he w…

[...] I went on, “Do you think that making money is an adequate goal in life?”

“I really scarcely know what our goals were, nor whether they were adequate.”

Did he really believe what he was saying, or was he amusing himself by teasing me? He does that sometimes, when he thinks me too set in …