Bookmarker is a personal project by @dellsystem to help with retaining reading material. Source on GitHub.

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1 year, 7 months ago

the site for negotiating one’s self-worth

[...] To be insecure means to feel uncertain about one’s worth, to be unable to secure it on one’s own, and to have to depend on others in order to secure it. One of the fundamental changes in modernity has to do with the fact that social worth is performatively established in social relationships.…

—p.114 Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation The Demand for Recognition Love and the Vulnerability of the Self (109) by Eva Illouz
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1 year, 7 months ago

contemporary romantic ambivalence

Commitment has instrumental and affective components.123 Choosers in the marriage market clearly are trying to combine the rational and emotional dimensions of choice-making. However, research suggests that the affective dimension of commitment ultimately is the strongest because commitment cannot …

—p.96 Commitment Phobia and the New Architecture of Romantic Choice (59) by Eva Illouz
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1 year, 7 months ago

the self is not a “hard,” fixed, knowable entity

[...] This man cannot come to a decision, despite having undertaken a lengthy process of introspection, which has paralyzed his will at the same time as activating his rational capacity to evaluate situations. This is reminiscent of the words by the poet Theodore Roethke, quoted by psychologist Tim…

—p.93 Commitment Phobia and the New Architecture of Romantic Choice (59) by Eva Illouz
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1 year, 7 months ago

two ways of experiencing commitment phobia

From a cultural standpoint, there are two ways of experiencing commitment phobia: as hedonic, in which commitment is deferred by engaging in a pleasurable accumulation of relationships; and as aboulic, in which it is the capacity to want to commit that is at stake: that is, the capacity to want rel…

—p.78 Commitment Phobia and the New Architecture of Romantic Choice (59) by Eva Illouz
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1 year, 7 months ago

sexuality being so closely associated with male status

There are three possible reasons that could be proffered for sexuality being so closely associated with male status. To the extent that sexuality was associated with the socio-economic status of powerful men, it retained its association with power and status even when the connection was less strong…

—p.73 Commitment Phobia and the New Architecture of Romantic Choice (59) by Eva Illouz