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I was saying, then, a while ago, almost at the beginning of this diary, that I moved into the house of some friends for ten days and stayed there for six months. During that time I tried to look for an apartment, but it wasn’t easy. I flicked through the paper that listed apartments for rent and fe…

[...] while I was engrossed in the task of washing the cutlery and then the plastic containers and then the plates, I made my discovery: namely that this, and nothing else, was the leisure I needed. I realised that leisure doesn’t have to mean sitting in an armchair and waiting tensely for the vagu…

The will needs obstacles in order to exercise its power; when it is never thwarted, when no effort is needed to achieve one’s desires, because one has placed one’s desires only in the things that can be obtained by stretching out one’s hand, the will grows impotent. If you walk on a level all the t…

Back to the difficult subject … My relapse into searching for pornography last year, I mean. I’ll need to go back to some earlier events. Towards the end of May ’98, I met Chl, and then, around the middle of July, our romantic relationship began. This made the atmosphere in the house where I was li…