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Silence. i don't know what to say. There are lods of things I want to ask, but they are all questions I don't really want answered: when did you start seeing Ian, and was it because of the you know the ceiling noise thing, and is it better (What? she'd ask; Everything, I'd say), and is this really …

[...] she said something about the money, something about whether I'd start paying her back in instalments, and I said I'd pay her back at a pound a week for the next hundred years. That's when she hung up.

[...] You walk much more quickly afterwards, trying to recapture the part of the day that has escaped, and quite often you have the urge to read the international section of a newspaper, or go to see a Peter Greenaway film, to consume something solid and meaty which will lie on top of the candyflos…

[...] She thinks Laura might be more interested in me if I did some evening classes. We agree to differ or, at any rate, I hang up on her. [...]

It's only just beginning to occur to me that it's important to have something going on somewhere, at work or at home, otherwise you're just clinging on. If I lived in Bosnia, then not having a girlfriend wouldn't seem like the most important thing in the world, but here in Crouch End it does. You n…