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If you have begun to accept yourself unconditionally despite your poor behavior (but dislike the poor behavior) you are ahead of the game. You are better off than (but not a better person than) most people. What else helps you change? Next, learn and practice the three insights of Rational-Emotive …

Rational-Emotive Therapy shows you how to achieve unconditional self-acceptance rather than highly conditional self-esteem. How do you gain self-acceptance? Simply by choosing to have it, instead of choosing, as you often do, to set yourself up for a fall by trying to achieve pride and self-esteem.…

Your best bet for changing your self-defeating behavior is first to admit you are responsible for your behavior and for changing it. Second, accept yourself as a person who currently is defeating yourself. Third, refuse to label yourself as a loser or a victim. If you call yourself a victim, you fo…

If you drink alcohol so that it interferes directly or indirectly with achieving your goals, you have a problem with it. You can make drinking a problem when you give it excessive power to enable you to cope better, to feel good, or to help you reduce emotional distress. It’s a problem when you bel…

According to the ABC theory of Rational-Emotive Therapy (RET) that I (AE) originated in 1955, and according to the other cognitive-behavioral therapies that followed RET, this is what usually occurs when you make yourself neurotic. That is, when you make yourself anxious, depressed, enraged, self-h…