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I needed to ask, what would a better way of seeing look like? And how do you move forward when uncertainty tempts you towards cynicism? The answers, I think, are in something the author Sheila Heti told me in an interview when I asked her about the question of whether or not to have children. The i…

On the drive home I thought about how the unknowns of my life I was thrashing against were possibilities too. I looked back on all I did not know as a toddler, as a child, as a teenager; all the wonderful stretches of life ahead. I wondered if the ugliest shade of unhappiness comes, not directly fr…

[...] It’s difficult to know the difference between forcing yourself to do something that’s not good for you, and being scared of doing something that is good for you. If the fear is excitement, then feel it and do it anyway. But if it’s about the massive amount of willpower that’s required to do s…

A year later we went for the drink which would be our last alone. On the pavement outside a Soho bar afterwards, I saw that somewhere in the night air between us was a decision that wasn’t really about the person standing in front of me at all. It was between immaturity and growing up, between fant…

In a commencement speech at Douglass College in 1977, Adrienne Rich said that responsibility to yourself ‘means insisting that those to whom you give your friendship and love are able to respect your mind. It means being able to say, with Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre: “I have an inward treasure bor…