Let me encourage you to turn yourself over to God. Tell Him that you know you cannot change yourself, but that you want Him to change you and make you what He wants you to be. He will do it at a pace that is just right for you, and He will use methods that would not have occurred to you. It is God’s grace that changes us, not our self-effort. All we can do is want to be what God wants us to be, repent that we are not, and put ourselves completely in His hands to make the changes that need to be made. Of course, we make an effort, but it is an effort made while depending on God, not ourselves, for victory.

Love is liberating. It offers people both roots and wings. It provides a sense of belonging and acceptance (roots) and a sense of freedom (wings). Love doesn’t try to control or manipulate, and it doesn’t seek its own fulfillment through trying to control the destiny of others. In a truly loving family, a father who dreamed of being a pro football player doesn’t try to force his son to play football when he would rather be a dancer. A mother who wants her daughter to be popular because she never was doesn’t force her to be a cheerleader, get in with all the “right” people, be on the debate team, or run for school president when she is more of an academic who wants to quietly study and isn’t concerned about her reputation with people. Parents don’t project certain roles onto their children because they accept and enjoy them as God made them to be.

Love finds out what people need and helps them get it.