I was in love for the first time. Although I didn’t hear bells ringing, as Mamma had promised me. But it was wonderful even So.

His name was Jens.

We didn’t talk much, for we were both shy—silence was part of our relationship. Life pulsated around us differently than it had earlier. Our good-nights by the gate were tremendously important. The nearest we ever came to bells ringing. Mamma began standing at the window behind the curtains when she expected me home. We had to find other gates. He almost always wore rubber boots and was much taller than I. One day he told me that it was over. He could not spend all his youth with a virgin, he said. Somewhere he had read that it might be harmful for a developing man not to have sex. Besides, he was about to take his exams and go to the university. As a student he could not go around with a fifteen-year old. He hoped I understood and wouldn't take it personally.

We both had red faces. I had never heard him speak that many consecutive sentences. I stood by a strange gate carrying my innocence with shame, as I watched a gangling youth walk out of my life.