The Polish philosopher, on the phone: ‘Let’s say you decided to leave V. What would be holding you back?’

Long pause. I walk through our life, as it were room by room. It is very bare.

‘In my heart I know I have to leave. But I’m hanging on. Because I’ve got this terrible need for him to tell me the truth. And because I’m scared.’

‘What of?’

Longer pause.

‘Failure. This is my third marriage. Fear of my failure to sustain intimacy. To sustain a relationship.’

‘Intimacy,’ she says, ‘has to go both ways. And the aim of a relationship is not to sustain the relationship.’