Bought myself a sewing machine at Grace Bros, a demo model which, the Brother consultant earnestly assures me, ‘only Vicki and I have ever sewn on’. Vicki (big hair, raking red false nails, missing side tooth, gold-rimmed specs) tells me the shop runs classes. ‘You learn to make a skirt with a zip, and a shirt with a collar.’ I lug it home, dizzy with ambition.