British Airways messed up our flight to Madrid and our English friends had to go on ahead without us. V handled the desk staff so brilliantly, never losing his cool, that he got us a refund for the whole trip, including the hotel, and we even still went, at BA’s expense, though not arriving till dinner time. Astonished and impressed by the patient charmingness of his negotiations. H: ‘We’ve really had a nice day, haven’t we, in spite of our visa troubles.’ V: ‘Yes, and it’s because I was in charge.’ I laughed; but we’re locked in an endless power struggle. When we see couples who are cheerfully loving we exchange sad, wry glances. I suppose he thought we would always be ‘in love’. My next task: to pick up at speed enough Spanish to handle the weekend here, without threatening his need to be seen as running the show.