“What’s with all the female filmmakers from Canada?” he asks. “What is going on up there?” He’s had a weird number of Canadian female filmmakers and screenwriters come down to his clinic with concussions. (Indeed, I myself now know at least four Canadian female filmmakers who have been to this clinic.) “The front desk keeps asking me what is going on in Toronto.”

I tell him that we’re a competitive bunch. The pool of female filmmakers is small, but even smaller is the pool of money to make films. We’ve taken to bashing each other over the head to put each other out of the running for the public money. Hence, more business for him, and an added bonus of appearing as the doctor character in lots of overly serious, low-budget movies that people will never see.