There were plenty of things I couldn’t handle about my job, but they weren’t the ones David was thinking about then. The main thing: I’d believed that if I got this job, or even if I got any sort of power, that I wouldn’t be scared anymore. I had been hoping that power was the way to undo fear. But then you learn: the fear is here to stay. The fear was always there, except when I was at my desk, with a manuscript in front of me and a pen in hand.