When she asked how I was doing, I said something vague but not entirely dishonest. “Oh, maybe a little overwhelmed.”

She looked me straight in the eye—I’ll never forget the clarity of her gaze, its tender X-ray—and, without my mentioning anything about a man, told me that she used to be with men who brought chaos into her life.

She said, “I had to leave those men behind, in order to do my work.”