Right after I awoke, my shoulders seized up, and John agreed to massage them. I pressed down on a painful knot. Here.

John rubbed all around the knot. He said, Everything is connected. These muscles are all part of a system. He rubbed my shoulder blade, getting farther and farther away from the pain. I dug my finger into the lump, trying to soften it.

Stop it, John said. I know what I’m doing. He didn’t touch the sore spot.

He would decide whether I deserved relief. He would decide whether my pain even existed at all.