Self-love has to include a disregard for how other people might perceive me, and living as though life is in the present, rather than something that will start in earnest once certain thresholds have been passed. I sometimes have to say aloud to myself: you do not agree that life’s worth should be measured in this way. Don’t give the idea the authority to direct your self-criticism for not measuring up. It feels like a life’s work. Repeat it until you mean it. Say it like a friend would.