Another

a foreigner in Egypt visits pyramid after pyramid in the hopes of knowing that he won't die like a bug

What It Means When a Crowd in a Faraway Nation Takes a Soldier Representing Your Own Nation, Shoots Him, Drags Him from His Vehicle and Then Mutilates Him in the Dust

a short but actually pretty cool vignette that (imo) depicts how entrenched American patriotism is, by elucidating a random American man's feelings about the mutilation of his nation's soldiers (referring to Somalia perhaps? lots of possibilities really)

The Only Meaning of the Oil-Wet Water

kind of a weird one about a girl named Pilar who goes to Costa Rica and hooks up with some guy named Hand, whom she has convinced herself is worth her time (though tbh they both seem like pretty hopeless, self-absorbed individuals)

On Wanting to Have Three Walls Up Before She Gets Home

less than a page. a man is building a small house in the backyard. no one cares.

Climbing to the Window, Pretending to Dance

some guy named Fish has a cousin who has attempted suicide seven times and he has to visit him

She Waits, Seething, Blooming

a single mother waits up for her teenage son and can't wait to start the emotional abuse. this felt creepily personal ... maybe Dave Eggers' mother was like this

Quiet

some cuck gets friendzoned by a girl who has only one arm. there's a great scene when he finds out that she had a threesome with his old colleagues (the three of them had promised to never touch her). then he basically forces himself on her and yeah this story is weird, idk what Dave is trying to say with this one

Your Mother and I

another kind of stupid one told as a first-person monologue from father to son, about how he and his wife basically solved all the world's problems

Naveed

some girl who has had sex with 12 men doesn't want to have sex with one more because then it'll be a "baker's dozen" and the next guy will make fun of her for that, so she decides she has to go to at least 14

Notes for a Story of a Man Who Will Not Die Alone

this was the worst ... actually in the form of notes (think Adult World II in Brief Interviews). some old guy who wants to die surrounded by people in a stadium. he does.

About the Man Who Began Flying After Meeting Her

short one about a guy who wants to start flying (gliders, parachutes, etc) now that he's met some girl

Up the Mountain Coming Down Slowly

long one about Rita climbing up Mount Kilimanjaro with a small tour group composed of a few white people like her and a ridiculously disporportional number of porters. they make it to the top, but some of the porters die on the way.

When They Learned to Yelp

did not like this one at all. nothing to do with finding restaurants or dogs, but instead with "Americans of a certain age" who had only recently realized they were capable of expressing great horror. something to do with terrorism I guess?

After I Was Thrown in the River and Before I Drowned

a really silly one about a dog who dies (written in the first person)

Foreword to Tenth Anniversary of Edition of Infinite Jest

by Dave Eggers

Recollection

by Dave Eggers

To Try Extra Hard To Exercise Patience, Politeness, and Imagination

by Dave Eggers

The Believer, November 2003