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[...] I do not talk about my miscarriage, or the fact that I have been put on medical leave from work. I watch as she lights the last cigarette in her pack, the sun fading in the sky behind her, turning the walls of the buildings across the way their early-evening shades of pink, orange and, finall…

What does it mean to you to be a good friend?

The first thing, I think, is to ask yourself that question. To me it’s about demonstrating love, investing time, having an awareness of people – their history, their desires, what they need. And seeing and accepting the different facets of who they…

How did that early loss change the way you approached love and relationships?

I think sometimes you look for the parts of yourself you’ve lost in a relationship. I was twenty-three when my father died, and it was almost impossible for me to think about anything else. I would wake up in the nig…

How did that early loss change the way you approached love and relationships?

I think sometimes you look for the parts of yourself you’ve lost in a relationship. I was twenty-three when my father died, and it was almost impossible for me to think about anything else. I would wake up in the nig…

It never left me. It is in the small things – like the decision to order the lobster – and the big things – like leaving my job as a columnist at the Guardian after twenty-six years to become an academic. That was entirely informed by that lesson. I thought, I don’t want to die doing this, I want…