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I tried different ways to spend my money—online gambling, shopping sprees—but it all felt a bit forced. I didn’t want or need more clothes; the only places I ever went, besides the club, were Trader Joe’s and the YMCA pool. I didn’t need knee-high boots or complicated athleisurewear to shop for chi…

Experienced dancers knew what to say. They could sweetly shame a college boy into, at the very least, subscribing to their OnlyFans. This is no ordinary bar, they’d say with a wink. They’d indicate their breasts, foaming out of a bustier. Do you like what you see? Yes? Then show me!

I envied the…

He wasn’t wrong: ever since I’d started dancing, I couldn’t shake the smell of the club from my hair. The other girls didn’t seem to have this problem, they drifted around in clouds of patchouli and Victoria’s Secret Love Spell, edged with tequila and jojoba oil. I, on the other hand, reeked of cig…

‘Are you going to sweep that up?’ I asked, knowing that you hate being told to do things right before you actually do them.

‘Obviously,’ you said, spitting the word out at me like chewing gum onto a pavement.

I never feel that angry anymore. If someone does something I disagree with, like use…

After the bath I lie on my bed all twisted up in a towel, not moving, not even to grab my phone, and it’s not even like I’m thinking about not picking up my phone; my mind has just drifted off somewhere else where phones don’t ask to be looked at. Time passes. I’m not sure how much of it and I don’…