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In the discussion I ran the line against possessiveness that we thought was so cool in the seventies: ‘Jealousy is a completely useless emotion.’

Psychoanalyst: ‘On the contrary. I think jealousy is at the cutting edge of the psyche.’

Me: (riveted) ‘What do you mean?’

Psychoanalyst: ‘It’s …

He tells me that the vision of life that’s in my work is not real; it’s much less bad, dark, mischievous, painful etc than real life. It holds out some belief in the essential goodness of people. It is a picture of the way I’d like life to be rather than the way it really is.

‘I’m afraid your pe…

Clear statement: I have very strong urges (irresistible urges) towards some kind of religious or, rather, spiritual experience. This frightens me, not because the spirituality in things is so inscrutable but because I don’t know what it will do to my ordinary life arrangements, my friendships, my a…

He’ll be like the Russians: he’ll retreat and retreat and retreat until I freeze to death.

A couple passed us on the beach. We guessed they had met through a dating agency. I said the man couldn’t find a woman because he talked all the time and expected her to listen. F said the woman couldn’t find a man because she listened all the time with her head on one side and made attention-murmu…