NOVEMBER 24, 1942
[...]
I do not spend enough time thinking when I write. I have a surfeit of ideas and good ideas, but it takes so long to get from them to their actualization. I must change my life.
OCTOBER 13, 1942
Never before have I been so enraptured with my life! It’s quite an impersonal sensation. It comes when I am alone or with someone, when I am reading a splendid book, looking at an imaginative image, or listening to good music. It came today, with fantastic and sustained force, w…
9/27/42
Sometimes I feel so much wiser than my body: then I begin to feel wiser than my head, and finally wonder what it is that feels wiser, that is wiser, which brings me once more to the insolvable problem of what am I? I do not believe in happiness or the so-called normalcy as the ideal of h…
SEPTEMBER 10, 1942
[...] I am old enough to want to live my own life. I have done experimenting, wasting precious time that is ever running shorter. I should gladly give up—ridiculous phrase—my drinking, dinner going, cocktails, absurdities!
6/29/42
The sensation of failing always, leads to this in the still active person: a desire to be “someone else,” the feeling that even with a new and propitious idea, the executor is the same, the executor and artist is “I,” bringing inevitably the old train of faults the old plan of stumble-bl…
