Activity

Dreamt I was trying to board a train with a suitcase. This takes place in the USA. The gap between the platform and step is too wide. I manage to get on the next train, with extra effort and attention, and keep hold of the suitcase. Can I keep the suitcase—S—and write?

Saw Too Beautiful for You. Nothing about it resembles my story and everything does. As I leave the cinema, I know it’s about me, and ordinary life and the contradictory relations between men and women. And I’d have liked not to have to leave the cinema and for this story not to end. Art as a shortc…

Last night he called but I can’t have him over, Éric and David are here. Tonight was the film screening. His wife not there—“she’s a little under the weather,” his usual phrase, which doesn’t mean anything. Unless she’s pregnant . . . Watched the Russian film, sitting next to him. I only caressed h…

It’s been over a week since S has come around. Too long. I review my life since then, and am amazed by how many stupid, unpleasant events there have been: the meal with H, the young people’s book award in Montreuil, the last of my courses on Robbe-Grillet, and the lunch today. That life consists of…

S . . . the beauty of it all: the very same desires, the same actions as at other times in the past, in ’58 and ’63, and with P. The same drowsiness, even torpor. Three scenes stand out. That evening (Sunday) in his room, as we sat close to each other, touching, saying nothing, willing and eager fo…