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So I resigned—my announcement to myself—from the elite club of sought-after Broadway directors, walked away at the peak of my success. By refusing the Williams play, I was, in effect, refusing all other plays by authors of similar stature. I was abdicating from the successful career I’d made. I vow…

Speak now, I said to myself, release your true feelings before it’s too late. Be yourself. Take your place in the world. You are not a cosmic orphan. You have no reason to be timid. Respond as you feel. Awkwardly, crudely, vulgarly—but respond. Leave your throat open. You can have anything the worl…

I said very little to Molly about the purpose of my trip—she would have tried to talk me out of it. All I told her was that I needed a vacation alone. In Athens I found what I wanted and rented it, the Stormie Seas, a forty-foot caïque, flying the Union Jack. It had a crew of two social rebels, a y…

AS IV’E passed through the episodes of my life, I’ve tried to understand my behavior and explain it to you and so to myself. But at this point in my history, I cannot account for what I was doing. The explanation, if one can be found, is beyond my reach. From the time I found that Waterfront and Ea…

I’d come to that point in life—I was forty-eight, that critical age—when I was asking myself, “Is that all there’s going to be? Is this, what I have now, it?” I set out to destroy what I found stifling and replace the predictable with the unpredictable. I courted what would be disruptive. I was mor…