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I STILL hadn’t made up my mind what to do. I was edging toward cooperating with the committee, but of all the people I might name, the one for whom I felt the most concern and affection was Clifford. I certainly couldn’t name him—if I chose that way—without his permission. I made up my mind, as I a…

I WAS drifting. So I decided to consult some friends who I was certain were “on the side of the angels” and would want to talk me out of wrongdoing.

I wrote down what follows early in the spring of 1952, before I’d testified “cooperatively.” It is from a diary.

A conversation with Art Mille…

Reader, I don’t seek your favor. I’ve been telling you only some of the things I was asking myself on the way “down.” But if you expect an apology now because I would later name names to the House Committee, you’ve misjudged my character. The “horrible, immoral thing” I would do, I did out of my tr…

Was I really a leftist? Had I ever been? Did I really want to change the social system I was living under? Apparently that was what I’d stood for at one time. But what shit! Everything I had of value I’d gained under that system. After seventeen years of watching the Soviet Union turn into an imper…

She was getting into bed, and that woke me. All excited and very happy, she announced her engagement. “I’m going to get married,” she said. “I made up my mind tonight.” “A hell of a time to tell me,” I said. “It’s three-thirty in the morning.” “I wanted to tell you first,” she said, “because now I’…