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When I couldn't get him to come with me, I'd go to the police to file a report. It was my lawyer who told me to do that, even though after doing it ten times I couldn't really see the point. I'd wait for hours. I'd waste my whole Saturday. The police were no strangers to this kind of situation. Oft…

The train leaves from Montparnasse in an hour. I've actually bought tickets, for once. It's May, the weather isn't great. I went swimming early, when the pool opened, to help me stay calm if anything goes wrong. I've been very careful not to get too excited. It was Paul who asked to go to Montlouis…

My goal is to have as little as possible. Things, places, people, lovers, my son, my friends. I thought that was partly what being gay was about. I thought dykes would be as cool as fags, always inventing new things. I was thinking of Edwige Belmore, Kathy Acker, Dorothy Allison, Nathalie Barney, e…

“Having homosexual relations cannot be considered a sign of mental instability in this day and age. Neither can writing books.” The expert psychiatrist's report has come through. In April, nine months after the judge gave him six months to deliver it. That sentence was either in the introduction or…