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Over the course of our affair, maroon became a code word of sorts, a stand-in for devotion. Are you feeling maroon? I might text him after a long day with no contact. He would write me back promptly: Maroon on my mind. He would tell me when and where to meet him for dinner, then add: I have a reser…

After our drink we made out in the park, next to a group of elders line-dancing to a dusty boom box. We faced away and got freaky. To the tune of Cher, he stuck his head under my T-shirt and gnawed on my nipples. Kids called us names from the playground. We didn’t care. It was after dark and the la…

It wasn’t his wife I envied most, sleepy in slacks, but his taciturn daughter. She was bored, taut, and concupiscent.

I tried different ways to spend my money—online gambling, shopping sprees—but it all felt a bit forced. I didn’t want or need more clothes; the only places I ever went, besides the club, were Trader Joe’s and the YMCA pool. I didn’t need knee-high boots or complicated athleisurewear to shop for chi…

Experienced dancers knew what to say. They could sweetly shame a college boy into, at the very least, subscribing to their OnlyFans. This is no ordinary bar, they’d say with a wink. They’d indicate their breasts, foaming out of a bustier. Do you like what you see? Yes? Then show me!

I envied the…