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I thought it would let up, but it became a dogfight and I was the bone of contention. There were many phone calls, “unsigned” and hateful. I changed my phone number. When I began to move among people again, I found I was notorious, an “informer,” a “squealer,” a “rat.” I’d become the star villain f…

THE HOUSE COMMITTEE on Un-American Activities was not publicity shy. They rushed my statement to The New York Times the day after I’d given it and, suddenly, there it was on the front page of the world’s greatest newspaper. I started to read it but couldn’t. I felt embarrassed and ashamed. The stat…

I had my childhood answer: distance. I withdrew. I was silent. Never as firm as Molly, I always saw two sides to every issue and every judgment. And so, in the body of my conviction, there appeared the worm of doubt. I still believed what I’d done was correct, but no matter that my reasons had been…

CONCERNED friends have asked why I didn’t take the “decent alternative,” tell everything about myself and not name the others in the Group. But in the end that was not what I wanted. Perhaps ex-Communists are particularly unrelenting against the Party. I believed that this committee, which everyone…

I STILL hadn’t made up my mind what to do. I was edging toward cooperating with the committee, but of all the people I might name, the one for whom I felt the most concern and affection was Clifford. I certainly couldn’t name him—if I chose that way—without his permission. I made up my mind, as I a…