Your best bet for changing your self-defeating behavior is first to admit you are responsible for your behavior and for changing it. Second, accept yourself as a person who currently is defeating yourself. Third, refuse to label yourself as a loser or a victim. If you call yourself a victim, you focus on the unfortunate Activating Events or Adversities (A’s) in your life. But in doing so you may give these A’s too much and yourself too little power and control over you. If you adopt the role of “victim,” you make yourself powerless to do anything about your Belief System (B) concerning the Adversities (A’s). When you neglect changing your Belief System, you will fail to change your disturbances and addictions (Cs) and your Adversities (A’s). Then you make yourself into a “helpless victim.”