Customer maltreatment of waitresses, in part rooted in the tipping system, in part inherent in the unequal financial relation between customer and service worker, was fueled by the condescension of the public toward food service work. Although waitressing had lost its immoral cast in the eyes of the public by the 1920s and 1930s, the status of the work remained low. Waitressing was seen as menial, unskilled work, and waitresses were to be treated accordingly. “The notion that serving food could be as complicated a task to learn and to do as, say, making furniture, never impressed itself on public opinion.” Personal service workers also suffered from the stigma of dependence: instead of having a formal contractual arrangement that provided a living wage, they relied on customer largess.44

In addition to demanding sexual favors or servility, customers looked to waitresses for the fulfillment of other psychological needs. The act of eating and of being fed is overlaid with powerful associations. Diners transferred unconscious memories connected with food onto the waitress. Some had insatiable appetites for recognition, mothering, and emotional nurturance; others wanted witty conversation, entertainment, or a friendly nod as they recounted their daily triumphs and defeats. “Where else can I find a friend and get my lamb chops at the same time?” one customer queried. The waitress herself was part of the consumption exchange.45