(adjective) of, relating to, or constituting a portent / (adjective) eliciting amazement or wonder; prodigious / (adjective) being a grave or serious matter / (adjective) self-consciously solemn or important; pompous / (adjective) ponderously excessive
The notes scrawled in the margins in my loopy high school hand proclaim such portentous platitudes as “orgasm = death,”