“You know I hate the Circus/Magic convention. Let me do the Great American Children’s Shoe Show Extravaganza of Anaheim and get Tom to do this one.”

“Tom’s getting married that week.”

“Oh, fuck. Right.” I pause. Then: “Y’know, I’ve been meaning to mention this for some time now, but I don’t think it’s fair that just because Tom is a member of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints he gets to have so many days off for weddings.”

“We’re not going up against the Fourteenth Amendment just so you can get out of clown convention duty.”

“But polygamy is illegal, Jeff, so—”

“Listen, we’re between a rock and a hard place here, and we’re not going to set ourselves up as a test case for the constitutionality of federal polygamy laws just so you can get out of your mandatory clown convention duty. You know Tom is just itching for that fight.”