The specialty shoe division has been created to sell specialty shoes, specifically clown shoes, elevator shoes, animal face slippers, and unpaired shoes for the one-footed. For “one-foots,” I propose a service I call “shoe buddies,” in which a single-footed customer could search our database to locate an other-footed customer of similar size and fashion sense to go “halfsies” with. Allen says I’m a genius, perhaps, and that time will tell.

Of course, immediately following this, my co-worker Henrietta proposes “sock buddies,” which is, when all is said and done, still my idea just dressed in a hat. [...]