On a scale of one to ten, with ten being childbirth, this will be a three.

A three? Really?

Yes. That’s what they say.

What other things are a three?

Well, five is supposed to be having your jaw reset.

So it’s not as bad as that.

No.

What’s two?

Having your foot run over by a car.

Wow, so it’s worse than that?

Just a little worse, not much.

Okay, well, I’m ready. No—wait; let me adjust my sweater. Okay, I’m ready.

Alright then.

Here goes a three.

Right. Here we go then.

The laser, which had been described as pure white light, was more like a fist slammed against a countertop, and her body was a cup on this counter, jumping with each slam. It turned out three was just a number. It didn’t describe the pain any more than money describes the things it buys. [...]