“I’m thinking of telling Patricia about us.” Be skeptical. Ask: “What will you say?”

He proceeds confidently: “I’ll go, ‘Dear, there ’s something I have to tell you.’ ”

“And she ’ll look over at you from her briefcase full of memoranda and say: ‘Hmmmmmm?’ ”

“And I’ll say, ‘Dear, I think I’m falling in love with another woman, and I know I’m having sex with her.’ ”

“And she ’ll say, ‘Oh my god, what did you say?’ ”

“And I’ll say: ‘Sex.’ ”

“And she ’ll start weeping inconsolably and then what will you do?” There is a silence, still as the moon. He shifts his legs, seems confused. “I’ll . . . tell her I was just kidding.” He squeezes your hand.