Since that day at his apartment, we have found each other as often as we can. He comes over right from work, or in the middle of the night. The house is a mess, dust everywhere, the kitchen barely usable, we fuck in the ruins of what used to be my apartment, and then we get takeaway. Some days Clémentine comes and spends the evening with me, and goes home, and a little while later Jonathan turns up on my doorstep. Then he, too, is gone by morning. It’s so absurd, I really should move in with them. One weekend he tells Clémentine he’s going out of town, but he spends the entire weekend in my apartment. Miraculously, she doesn’t drop in. That it is all very complicated doesn’t dampen our desire. Obviously, obviously, it only builds up the need to see each other. I don’t understand why it should be this way for him, he says so little about his own life, but I feel the urgency between us. It is like something we both need to go through, to reach the other side of. I know there will be a time after this, when I will again live in the after. But we aren’t there yet. I hope, in having him again, to make the after more bearable, this time.