What do you wish you’d known about sex and desire?

The neuroscience of pleasure. The simple way to think about it is if you’re in a sexy state of mind and your partner tickles you, it could feel good and lead to other things. But if that same person tickles you when you’re pissed off at them, you might want to punch them in the face. It’s the same sensation with the same partner, but your brain interprets it differently because the context is different. So in order to know what pleasure feels like in your body, it’s not just about saying, ‘Touch me here. Don’t touch me that way.’ It’s about creating a context that allows your brain to interpret a sensation – any sensation – as pleasurable.