What advice would you give someone who hasn’t met a partner when they hoped to, and is feeling exhausted by trying to find love?

When you’re in the throes of obsession, there’s a possibility that opens up every second you give up. And it’s not giving up on ever finding a partner, or having a baby, or whatever it is that you want. It’s giving up on trying to control what happens. When you’re trying to manage your obsession around something you want really badly, it’s soothing to try to let go of your sense that it is all up to you to make it happen. It’s easy – as a person who works hard and is smart – to work, work, work at it. But stepping back and getting a little loose around it, and thinking, this is how it’s supposed to be, can make you happier. You’re living inside the romance of longing instead of inside the pain of it. It’s also useful to recognize that intensity doesn’t have to mean sadness, and longing doesn’t have to mean desperation. Longing can actually be a generative stance that’s lovely to feel.