Speaking to Candice made me think Alain de Botton was right: it is a tragic misalignment, how we’ve relegated friendship to a lesser form of love. Because whether you are in a relationship or not, friends have access to parts of you that no one else does. How, then, do you pull friendship back to its rightful position in the hierarchy of love? I think with tiny rituals and reminders. For Candice, that’s planning a birthday itinerary every year. For war reporter Janine di Giovanni, it’s breakfast with a friend on Skype on Sunday mornings, from different countries. For me and Marisa, it’s regular dates in Pizza Express, where we know the menu so well we don’t have to waste any time looking at it. It’s wearing the gold bracelet she once bought with the words ‘May we always dance around the refrigerator light’ engraved on the inside. She gave it to me when we lived just streets away and our lives were intertwined. Now that we don’t live nearby, it’s a reminder to find other ways to close the gap. A small symbol that means, Let’s keep on prioritizing each other.