On the drive home I thought about how the unknowns of my life I was thrashing against were possibilities too. I looked back on all I did not know as a toddler, as a child, as a teenager; all the wonderful stretches of life ahead. I wondered if the ugliest shade of unhappiness comes, not directly from what you lack, but from wanting a different life to the one you’re living. Perhaps that feeling is not a state of longing after all, but a way of seeing. A choice disguised in a lack of one.