ABUSERS’ RESPONSES TO A POSSIBLE BREAKUP

Promising to change
Entering therapy or an abuser program
Not drinking, attending AA
Making apologies
Telling you that you will be lost without him
Telling you that no one else will want to be with you
Threatening suicide
Saying that you are abandoning him, making you feel guilty
Threatening to kidnap or take custody of the children
Threatening to leave you homeless or with
no financial resources
Turning very nice
Getting other people to pressure you into
giving him another chance
Taking care of things that you have been complaining
about for a long time (e.g., finally fixing a hazardous
situation in the house, getting a job, agreeing that you
can go out with your friends)
Behaving in self-destructive ways so that you will worry
or feel sorry for him (e.g., not eating, drinking heavily,
skipping work, never talking to his friends)
Spreading rumors about you, trying to ruin
your friendships or reputation
Starting a new relationship/affair to make you
jealous or angry
Insisting that he already has changed
Spreading confidential information
about you to humiliate you
Threatening or assaulting anyone you try to start a new
relationship with, or anyone who is helping you
Getting you pregnant
Stalking you
Physically or sexually assaulting you
Trashing your house or car
Threatening to harm you or kill you