Nicole I saw you at the church and need your help. I think it's important to record relaxin's long term distortions. My legs are slightly bowed not from doing anything so that is immaterial.
What about this gappy thing between my thighs there is something wrong with my hips they are stuck or something, I mean they get stuck when I move so there is an arc in trying to move forward so that every forward movement involves a circle that was not there before. When I bend over completely in Prasarita Padottanasana like my groin is released in such a way like I feel the turning of a ball of the joint in such a way that I imagine my hip joints as padded with cork there is a softness such as was not there a soft hole that was not there in the groin which is related to the gappy hips. My boobs are ruined and ought to be painted as soon as possible as I cannot say whether they are ugly or beautiful; they are a ruin so how do you show that or what do you do about change of that nature where overnight you were one thing and then unimaginable punishments and then you were out of that even if you are not religious or a very small child I think you need a picture showing this kind of bodily rage although I admire certain aspects or angles of what I now see as the brutal indent of a formerly powerful ass. And the way I am eating which cannot be pictured but might be symbolically "pictured" or I pick up and secretly eat carbohydrates I load in ways previously revolting to me as my fear of obesity is intense everlasting earned. I think my digestion is ugly.
Returning to the privations of the past is tough despite years of trouble sacrifice of blood blisters under the toenails I sweated this muscle in the modern way with only moderate success. The limp is runner's knee.
Nicole I saw you at the church and need your help. I think it's important to record relaxin's long term distortions. My legs are slightly bowed not from doing anything so that is immaterial.
What about this gappy thing between my thighs there is something wrong with my hips they are stuck or something, I mean they get stuck when I move so there is an arc in trying to move forward so that every forward movement involves a circle that was not there before. When I bend over completely in Prasarita Padottanasana like my groin is released in such a way like I feel the turning of a ball of the joint in such a way that I imagine my hip joints as padded with cork there is a softness such as was not there a soft hole that was not there in the groin which is related to the gappy hips. My boobs are ruined and ought to be painted as soon as possible as I cannot say whether they are ugly or beautiful; they are a ruin so how do you show that or what do you do about change of that nature where overnight you were one thing and then unimaginable punishments and then you were out of that even if you are not religious or a very small child I think you need a picture showing this kind of bodily rage although I admire certain aspects or angles of what I now see as the brutal indent of a formerly powerful ass. And the way I am eating which cannot be pictured but might be symbolically "pictured" or I pick up and secretly eat carbohydrates I load in ways previously revolting to me as my fear of obesity is intense everlasting earned. I think my digestion is ugly.
Returning to the privations of the past is tough despite years of trouble sacrifice of blood blisters under the toenails I sweated this muscle in the modern way with only moderate success. The limp is runner's knee.
On this day 11 years ago my father died.
I watched him refuse death.
There was no reason to share this.
It was an indignity.
There is no refusing.
The brain stops even if until the last it performs miraculously the
duty of remaining illuminated.
He died on an evening like this warm one in November.
Loose leaves blew around the parking lot as I drove away from the
place of his death, a hospital.
I smoked with my mother's second sister just beyond the gate of the house my parents bought, owned and lived in together for twenty-six years.
I lived in that house, but did not live there then.
We smoked and a reporter came to the gate and asked her
questions.
She was ashamed.
There was no need to answer her.
We did not answer.
We smoked.
The night was strangely warm, like so many peculiar Halloweens,
November in just a few days.
Autumn quiets or casts itself between the warm parts of air.
It fills spaces of warmth with cold.
On this day 11 years ago my father died.
I watched him refuse death.
There was no reason to share this.
It was an indignity.
There is no refusing.
The brain stops even if until the last it performs miraculously the
duty of remaining illuminated.
He died on an evening like this warm one in November.
Loose leaves blew around the parking lot as I drove away from the
place of his death, a hospital.
I smoked with my mother's second sister just beyond the gate of the house my parents bought, owned and lived in together for twenty-six years.
I lived in that house, but did not live there then.
We smoked and a reporter came to the gate and asked her
questions.
She was ashamed.
There was no need to answer her.
We did not answer.
We smoked.
The night was strangely warm, like so many peculiar Halloweens,
November in just a few days.
Autumn quiets or casts itself between the warm parts of air.
It fills spaces of warmth with cold.