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So this will not be a novelization. A novelization is a lesser thing. Just as the book is always better than the movie (with the exception of Truffaut’s one decent film, Tirez sur le Pianiste [1960]), the movie is always better than the novelization. There must be a term for what I am about to do. …

“The chair is hard. I feel it pressing into my buttock bones. The room is dark, musty. I feel anxiety. I want this movie to be great. I want it to change my life, both in the watching and in the eventual heralding. If it’s terrible, I have gained nothing. I am where I was. Worse off because time ha…

hypgnosis sends me swirling lazily around the drain of hebetudinousness

“Listen,” he continues, “I can help you. By putting you into a state of deep hypgnotic relaxation, I can help you access memories you feel certain are forever lost. You should know that in addition to working with alien abductees and past-lifers—both of which I believe in, by the way—I also work wi…

Again she nods. Again he’s fishing. Everyone knows something that begins with M. I’ve suffered a loss of my memory. There’s the M I’ve lost, putz.

“Michael?” he asks.

She nods. OK, that was good. But still, everyone knows a Michael. I know seventeen Michaels, four of whom died recently, two o…