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[...] I didn't know what I wanted from him. What I seemed to want, though I didn't like to believe this, was for him to renounce every other person and thing in his life and pledge himself to me exclusively. This was outlandish not only because I had also slept with someone else during our relation…

[...] I realized my life would be full of mundane physical suffering, and that there was nothing special about it. Suffering wouldn't make me special, and pretending not to suffer wouldn't make me special. Talking about it, or even writing about it, would not transform the suffering into something …

I feel like shit lately, she said. All this stuff at home, I don't know. You think you're the kind of person who can deal with something and then it happens and you realize you can't.

She seemed irritable, almost about to express something, but then her eyes became calm and remote.

You think everyone you like is special, she said.

I tried to sit up and the bathtub was hard on my bones.

I'm just a normal person, she said. When you get to like someone, you make them feel …

[...] I knew what I was going to tell him, the most desperate thing I could possibly tell him, as if even in the depths of indignity I craved something worse.

The problem isn't that you're married, I said. The problem is that I love you and you obviously don't love me.

He took a deep breath i…